CEO Self-Mastery and Wellness: wellness as taught by an Entrepreneurship Through Acquisition Practioner
It's 2:30 pm and I've just given Steven a motivational speech, convincing him to quit TFT (team fight tactics, a league of legends knock off).
Wouldn't you be better served in activities that help you actively pursue becoming the next great American industrialist?, I ask.
After about 10 more minutes of back and forth, Steven calls upon his immense 500 lb deadlift willpower and manages to quit in the middle of his competitive-ranked game and delete it from his Mac. He texts Junbin and Wyatt that he's done, forever. We go and read on our sofa instead, me with Mother's Night by Kurt Vonnegut and Steven with Thinking In Systems by Donnella Meadows.
We make a last minute call to go to a Entrepreneurship Through Acquisition session at Tangen Hall. The topic was CEO Wellness.
*End of story time*
Personally, it is easier to digest wellness lessons from Professor Charbel Zreik, a respected CEO and investor, compared to a yoga or meditation teacher. It's a simple case of Hasan Minhaj's recent thesis at the Red Bank comedy show: if you get a therapist, your best getting one who understands your own culture.
My notes:
Being direct is often hard because we are emotionally charged. If we are sad or angry, we are afraid it comes across.
Rather than feeling “I am angry” when someones misses sales forecasts, shift to “I know that must be frustrating for you too because I know you’re an A player. How can I help?”
This assumes a teammate is an A player. Dealing with people who do not actually care is a different skillset.
Let metrics and systems take care of keeping a team accountable. A CEO should shift into the "coach" role
Ask yourself: What kind of journey do I want to have? Fear can get me to certain baseline performance, but it can’t give me the relationship with myself and others that I want. How do I want to measure myself for myself? Does achieving outcomes in the external world require fear and overall negativity?
Personally, I can often go to bed with residual negative emotions. I am anxiousness or frightened or generally insecure over achievements, and generally driven by fear to be great.
On the flip side, I sometimes wake up frantic and anxious. I wake up with the thought already in my head: I have to do better, I have to be smarter, I have to make use of the privileges I have. It is a very weighted and heavy feeling but in the moment, I lose all my self-compassion muscles and don’t recognize it.
When a CFO approaches you with problem (i.e., company is being sued), do you stay calm and handle it at ease?
Don’t physical tighten or automatically try to undo it.
Often when we're in that reactive physical state, we mentally resist the truth of what just happened and avoid confronting/believing it happened.
You detach from gut intuition by becoming tense. You detach from solving things efficiently and analytically. When you react wrong, you set off a chain of events that prevent people from bringing problems to you without fear of repercussion
Best thing to say is: we’ll figure it out. The mentality is that if there’s a solution out there, we'll work your ass off to find it. Be compassionate if you feel like you genuinely put all your effort it, else help yourself get to your own potential.
Sympathetic nervous system (controls body's fight or flight response) vs parasympathetic nervous system (controls body's ability to relax)
Develops your parasympathetic nervous system
Pay attention to physical sensations in the body. Feel your feet on the ground. Feel the inhale. Lengthen the exhale relative to inhale.
Think to tests on your choice.
If something spills on you or if a car alarm sounds, do you cringe or are you relaxed and open? Do you have the muscle to surrender. Can you laugh and then deal with it.
Get into a parasympathetic mode at least once a week. (massage, breathwork, music, yoga). Make sure you *remember* what parasympathetic feels like often.
Book recommendation by the professor: Untethered Soul
Trustworthy people are those who feel safe for you. Not just people who will cast judgement.
Those whose reaction is the sympathy you need for peak performance
Have someone associated with the business that is a safe board member. take a 45 min walk with them each week where you can just talk about it
Who you are is so loud that I cannot hear what you say - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Starting the day with 3 things your grateful for. Send a quick message if that helps you express it and get into that mindset
Routines help because it helps you get into a place where it’s no longer a decision — it feels automatic
When you notice the inner critic, just take note of it. Observe with the mind’s eye
Pre-bed ritual. try to not use technology. if you’re ruminating on something, then journal it and then drop it
Don’t lean on your team for stresses related to the business. find a peer group or “safe board member.” it gets dangerous because you signal wrong internally
One way to help identify a problem area in your life is to ask yourself ‘Where am I experiencing a loss of power, loss of freedom or loss of self-expression?’